Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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