I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
