Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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