It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
