I can't breathe out the right side of my face
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
