YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
