In America we eat man semen.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
