Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
