Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
