Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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