That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
