okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
