I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
