is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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