she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
