do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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