we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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