why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
