Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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