Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
