i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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