Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My vagina just recognized that song.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She bit a glass in half.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
