Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
