i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
