bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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