He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Couch. On fire.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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