but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
