Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
