i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
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