As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
