Please, let me fuck your mom
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
