I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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