Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
