While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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