Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My vagina just clenched in fear
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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