shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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