but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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