Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
