OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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