i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
