Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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