You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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