haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
