I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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