Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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