if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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