It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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