it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
