i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
