3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
