I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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