Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm both gender and math confused
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
