Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
In other news, I just burned my penis
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
