So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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