herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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