Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
