I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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