my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
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Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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