Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize