Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext me about skeletons
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize