btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
