She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
