i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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