I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
