if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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