I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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