grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
