I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
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That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize